How to Cope After Being Ghosted

Are you a woman who was ghosted by a man recently? And you’re feeling stunned and confused? Stick around and you’ll get the scoop on why you were ghosted and what you can do to cope, move on and feel better as soon as possible.

In this post, you’ll learn:

· what ghosting is

· 10 common reasons why people do it

· how to cope with it

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What is ghosting?

Ghosting is when someone you were in contact with suddenly stops contacting you with no explanation. This phenomenon often happens in dating and relationships, but it can also happen with friends, acquaintances, family, and in professional situations.

Ghosting isn’t a new trend because it’s been going on since forever. But, in modern times, especially in the dating world, this has reached epidemic levels.

Feelings of pain, anxiety, shame, abandonment, rejection, anger, and confusion are common for the person who was ghosted. And of course, you’re looping these questions in your brain; “what did I do wrong?” and “what the heck do I do now?”

SIDE NOTE

First, I know how awful it feels to get ghosted in dating and relationships. It first happened to me decades ago, when I was 13 years old. I’d met a boy I liked who didn’t go to my high school. He was totally into me and was so kind and respectful. We started seeing each other, and we talked on the phone frequently.

Then, a few weeks later, he disappeared without a word. My heart PLUMMETED to the depths of the earth. It was my first experience with ghosting and it shook me to my core that a person could do this to another.

Years passed and yes, I can admit I ghosted a few times, whether that was a romantic candidate or a friend. So, yes, I’ve been that shitty person more times than I’d like to admit. However, I’m committed to never ever doing this again.

Moving right along.

Why do people ghost?

While there are a gazillion reasons people ghost, what they all have in common is that they want to avoid a potentially difficult conversation.

Here are 10 of the more common reasons.

· It seems like the easy and more convenient way out. They don’t need to make any effort or have any uncomfortable and unpleasant conversation. The ghoster falsely believes that by disappearing without an explanation, they’re sparing someone’s feelings.

· A person changed their mind after getting to know someone. They no longer have a favourable impression. They may have said something, did something or learned something that they didn’t like or wasn’t in alignment with them.

· The physical attraction went away, so a person loses interest. Yes, this happens a lot. I had a client who met a gorgeous guy, but she didn’t like the way he smelled. He was clean and freshly showered, but she just couldn’t get past his natural scent. I, too, experienced not appreciating a guy’s scent. In cases like this, it’s just not going to work for obvious reasons.

So, when attraction fades, even when things seemed so promising, it is understandable that someone may not want to explain why they’re no longer attracted and risk hurting someone. However, this doesn’t warrant ghosting. There’s always a way to let someone down as gently as possible.

· They met someone else they like better.

· They got back together with their ex.

· They’re dating multiple people at the same time and got busy with that.

· They got bored with texting.

· They weren’t that into the person they were dating all that much.

· They lack empathy, emotional maturity and self-awareness. Or they may just not care at all about someone else’s feelings.

They didn’t feel safe. Whether that’s because of love bombing, anger issues, volatile or creepy behaviours, harassment or something the person revealed or did.

Now that you understand why people ghost, can you see why it has more to do with them than it does to do with you? You can’t control what others do.